No mas on the Clarifying Questions 🙅🏾

Hey everyone,

I want to address something that has come up a few times in our support groups recently: asking clarifying questions. I get it – sometimes when someone is sharing, we naturally want to ask questions to understand more. But here’s why this isn’t allowed in our space and why it can be frustrating for the group overall.

When someone is sharing, they are offering what they feel comfortable with. Asking questions, especially pointed ones, can make people feel put on the spot or even uncomfortable. It derails the conversation and takes time away from others who might need space to share. Our support groups are built on trust, and that trust includes respecting what people choose to share – no more, no less.

One of the core guidelines of Insula Collective is to speak from your own experience. We are not licensed professionals, and we are not here to give advice or fix each other’s problems. Instead of saying, “You should do this,” we say, “When I was in a similar position, I chose to do XYZ.” This approach honors each person’s journey without pushing opinions or advice onto them.

Also, if you’re thinking something like “Wow, you really need to enforce boundaries,” resist the urge to say it. That’s not our role here. Someone sharing something vulnerable should never feel dismissed or judged because of our input. Our group is a place to practice sensitive communication, and part of that means considering how what you say might affect others.

As the facilitator, it’s my job to guide the conversation and ensure everyone feels safe and heard. I take this responsibility seriously. If clarifying questions are asked, I will step in and gently remind the person to speak from their experience and reframe the question.

I’m here to make sure this space remains supportive, so let’s continue to respect each other’s boundaries and share in a way that uplifts and empowers.

Thank you for your understanding and commitment to keeping this group a safe space for all.

– Briana